There are a lot of reasons people take on roommates, but one of the most common is simple economics: Rent keeps rising, half of all tenants in the U.S. are paying more rent than they can actually afford, and they can defray those costs significantly by splitting the rent and other bills with someone else.
All of those benefits are predicated on one assumption, however: That your roommate will keep up their end of the bargain and, you know, actually pay their share of everything. When considering a roommate, you have to consider how it will impact you both personally and financially—and be prepared for the possibility that your roommate turns deadbeat and stops paying their rent or share of the bills. Whether it’s due to their own personal financial hardship or because you accidentally let a sociopath into your home, a deadbeat roommate can be a disaster. If your roommate stops paying their share, here’s what you can do about it.
Gather data showing they aren’t paying rent
Your first step when dealing with this situation is to get the facts. If your roommate is on the lease as a cotenant, has a separate rental agreement, or if you at least have a roommate agreement of some sort in writing, review the document to see what their financial responsibilities are and what consequences, if any, are spelled out.
Next, establish evidence. Gather records of missed payments and your attempts to collect the overdue rent. If you haven’t sent your roommate any requests for overdue payments, start doing so in a way that leaves a trail—emails or written requests.
Keep paying the rent. If your roommate is a cotenant or otherwise officially on the lease you might assume they are responsible for their share of the rent, but most lease and rental agreements specify that all tenants are “jointly and severally” liable, which means the landlord can seek the full rent amount from any tenant. If you only pay your share of the rent, you can get into serious financial difficulties if the landlord goes after you for the balance.
If you don’t have any sort of written agreement (if your roommate isn’t officially listed anywhere on the lease), you can’t just kick them out. You can ask them to leave, sure, but most states grant homestead rights to anyone who has occupied a home for a period of time, meaning they often have a specific grace period before you can legally make them leave. Check the laws in your state so you know how you have to proceed.
Try a (mediated) negotiation with your roommate
Once you know where you stand in terms of a written agreement, your next step is to open a dialogue. Note the financial burden they’re putting on you, and see if you can’t come up with a way for them to contribute at least some of what they owe. Calling in a professional mediator can keep things civil and offer a neutral way to discuss your issues; many cities offer mediation services for landlords and tenants to resolve conflicts—for example, in New York, the New York Peace Institute offers mediation services. If your city doesn’t, you can contact the American Arbitration Association for mediator referrals in your area. You can also try to negotiate a portion of the back rent—sometimes half of what you’re owed is better than zero.
If talks go nowhere, you can warn your roommate that your next step is legal action. At this point you could decide to cut your losses and try to negotiate a timeline for them to leave the apartment, using the possibility of a lawsuit as motivation. You might never get your money back this way, but at least you can stem the bleeding and remove this source of stress from your life.
If necessary, exercise your legal options
If all else fails, you might need to sue your roommate to try and collect the money. This isn’t actually all that difficult, but you will need to prepare:
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Agreements. Have copies of all written agreements with your roommate—a lease, sublease, or roommate contract are best, but any sort of written agreement that spells out their financial responsibilities should be acquired. If your roommate is on a separate sublease or rental agreement, ask your landlord for a copy.
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Demand letter. Next, send your roommate a letter detailing what they owe, called a demand letter. This should lay out in detail all the payments they’ve missed and your attempts to collect, including dates when you asked for the rent or other bills to be paid. It should also include a formal request for the money by a certain date. Send the letter registered mail or through any service that provides proof of delivery.
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Sue. You can usually bring a suit like this in small claims court, which means you won’t necessarily need a lawyer. As long as you can prove that a) you had an agreement with the roommate wherein they paid rent and/or a share of the bills, b) they broke the agreement by not paying, and c) you suffered a financial loss as a result (because you had to pay all the rent), you have a very good chance of winning. This is where all the data you gathered comes in handy: If you can show a written agreement, prove that your roommate didn’t pay as agreed and that you tried to collect, prove that you gave them notice, and show that you paid the rent on their behalf, you’ll have a solid case.
Eviction is tough, but possible
If you go through all of these steps and your roommate still won’t pay—or move out—you can consider trying to evict them. This can be a much more difficult process, and you’ll likely need to hire a lawyer to navigate your state’s laws around tenancy and homestead rights. It’s not a fast process (it can take up to a year), so going this route can cost you a lot of money while your roommate remains in your home, still not paying rent.
If you have a good relationship with your landlord and the roommate is on the lease, you can enlist their help in an eviction process. Keep in mind that if you’ve violated your lease by having an off-book roommate, you might find yourself being evicted right alongside them, so proceed with caution.
And, no, you can’t engage in what’s known as a “self-help eviction,” doing things like changing the locks, throwing their stuff into the street, or making their room unlivable in some way. Even if their tenancy is off the books, these tactics are illegal and will just put you in a worse position.
In the end, if your roommate turns deadbeat, your best bet is to negotiate with them, then try to recover your money through small claims court. Whatever you decide to do, be patient, keep records, and think about how you’ll avoid this situation next time.
